


That I Am Yours

by NamelesslyNightlock



Series: Going Down Swinging [34]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Confused Tony Stark, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Feels, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, Jealous Loki (Marvel), Kissing, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Is Not Good At Feelings, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Mario Kart, Miscommunication, Oblivious Tony Stark, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Secret Relationship, Talking, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Is Not Good At Feelings, Tony Stark Is Not Helping, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:13:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21604306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelesslyNightlock/pseuds/NamelesslyNightlock
Summary: When Tony is with Loki, he can almost imagine that everything’s perfect– but outside the bedroom Loki will hardly even look at him. No matter how much Tony wishes for more, he has to be content with what he’s got, because Loki doesn’t want anything beyond that....right?
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Series: Going Down Swinging [34]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1330490
Comments: 36
Kudos: 702





	That I Am Yours

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you **jaxonkreide** for saving me from my summary woes, fixing it up within ten minutes of me starting to whine ~~after spending a good hour trying to work it out myself~~ ❤︎  
>   
>  **Prompt** — _“Are you testing me?”_

Being with Loki was a lot harder than it should have been. It wasn’t that things were awkward between them, or that they were incompatible in some way– in fact, when they were actually together, they got along far better than they had any right to. Loki could make Tony laugh with an ease that no one else managed, and he never pushed Tony for anything more than he was willing to give– though to be honest, Loki could have asked for the moon and Tony would have found a way to get it for him. They learned each other’s bodies with a speed that could only be credited to their eagerness, and the sex was better than anything else Tony had ever experienced– more so for the fact that both during and after they were able to talk and joke and just be themselves with no need for any performance.

So… yeah. When they were together, Tony could almost imagine that everything was perfect, that the world was exactly aligned and something in Tony’s life was _finally_ going right.

But the more that Tony fell into seeing the perfection of _those_ moments, the more that the times in between began to grate, began to scratch at his insides and make him wish that things could be a little different.

It was _hard_ , because when they were out in the Tower with the rest of the Avengers, when Tony was dragged into conversations he often didn’t really want to have– or when Rhodey came over to prove his prowess at video games and restore the high score that Clint had beaten the week before – Tony would be on one side of the room on the couch while Loki would be on the other, sitting in his favourite isolated armchair and not quite engaging in whatever was happening around him.

Tony wanted nothing more than to cross the room and curl up in that armchair with him, to just stay in the comfort of Loki’s arms. He wanted everyone to _know_ that Loki was _his–_ hell, _he_ wanted to be able to know that Loki was his, that they were _together_ in the way that he longed for.

But… Loki didn’t want that. What they had was only casual– it was just sex, nothing more. Sure, they slept in the same bed and yeah, okay, so Loki was a cuddler and Tony wasn’t going to deny himself the indulgence of that, but outside Tony’s bed they hardly even _acknowledged_ each other. And while that hurt, Tony was willing to endure it. Because what he had was better than nothing, and he _could_ go through so many hard days buoyed only by the thought of what awaited him at the end of it. He could manage knowing that Loki would be there for him to hold in the night, the cover of darkness aiding the fantasy that what happened between them when they were alone was the _reality_ , and that the daytime was the dream– rather than the other way around.

“Are you okay, Tones?” Rhodey asked, his hand coming to rest on Tony’s shoulder and pulling him from his musings.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Tony told him, shoving the thoughts away. “No need to worry that pretty head of yours, Care Bear.”

Rhodey didn’t look like he entirely believed that, but he clapped Tony’s shoulder once more before picking up his controller and loudly challenging Clint to the long-awaited showdown.

Tony was still sat beside Rhodey on the couch, still wishing that he was sitting somewhere else. But he couldn’t do anything about that, so instead he focused on what he could– he focused on his friend, leaned against Rhodey’s shoulder and yelled loudly as Clint nailed him with a blue shell, and then cheered in appreciative triumph as Rhodey managed the same. And when Rhodey won the race, Tony allowed himself to be pulled back up to join in the victory dance, laughing with Rhodey at Clint’s pout and more than gladly returning Rhodey’s thrilled hug.

But he had barely curled his arms around Rhodey’s back when he heard a sound from behind, something almost like a growl—

Someone grabbed his arm, pulling him from Rhodey’s hold—

There was a flash of green—

And then Tony’s back slammed against one of his bedroom walls, the wind almost knocked out of him. Loki’s hands were on Tony’s shoulders at first, but they released him almost instantly– though Loki remained so close that Tony could feel his breath against his cheek. In that moment, Tony half expected Loki to be angry, though he couldn’t guess why– but when he glanced up, it was to find those bright green eyes coloured with something almost frantic.

“Loki?” Tony asked, not really _minding_ the situation he had suddenly found himself in, but feeling a little concerned nonetheless. Loki didn’t do things like this– Loki always kept his distance when they were around other people, and he hardly even _looked_ at Tony. He _never_ did anything that could betray the fact that they were fucking– but here he was, having taken Tony from right under everyone else’s noses in a manner that would be difficult not to decipher correctly. It was _worrying_ , so he asked– “Is there something wrong?”

“Are you testing me?” Loki demanded, sounding a little strangled. “Are you trying to see if I’m the villain everyone thinks that I am?”

Tony blinked. “Um. What?”

“Your _friend_ ,” Loki said, his voice still hoarse. “You touch him constantly, and you give him endearments. Yet you never come anywhere near _me_.”

“Wait, so this _is_ about Rhodey?” Tony asked, still confused. “Loki, what—”

“I understand that you do not wish for people to know that we are together. Truly, I am not upset about that, because I _know_ how the others see me. But… when I see you act that way around them when you will not even _look_ at me… I am sorry,” Loki said, glancing away. “I overreacted. I should not have done that. Now the others will wonder…” he grimaced, and his eyes flicked back to Tony’s for but a moment before skittering away again as he repeated his apology. “I _am_ sorry. I just wish…”

Tony waited for the rest of the sentence, because nothing about what Loki had said made any sense at all. But when nothing was forthcoming and it was clear that he was going to have to work it out for himself, he went over the words again, his mind whirring as he tried to fit the pieces together.

And slowly, Tony realised that maybe the reason why nothing made sense was because he was missing a certain vital piece of information– that there was something he had just assumed. He was hesitant to ask, because it had the potential to change everything. But then, if he was wrong– well, what did he have to lose?

“Loki,” Tony whispered, pausing just long enough for Loki to meet his gaze once more. “What… what do you think we are?”

At that, Loki flinched backward as if he had been dealt a physical blow, his expression crumpling. And suddenly, everything fell into place– and despite his remorse at the way his insensitive words had clearly hurt Loki, Tony felt nothing but overwhelming _joy_.

“Loki,” Tony gasped, reaching out, his tone almost reverent– but Loki took another step away, his eyes sad.

“It does not matter what I think,” Loki said. “It is clear that I was mistaken.”

“No, Loki, listen,” Tony said earnestly, already buoyed by his realisation. “I think I had this all wrong, and I think that maybe you did, as well. You thought that we were dating, didn’t you? That we were a proper couple.”

Loki grimaced, his expression shattering even further as he curled in on himself– and Tony _knew_ he was doing an absolutely terrible job of explaining himself, so he rushed on to the next thing he needed to say as quickly as he could.

“Loki, I thought you only wanted sex,” Tony said, his words almost running together with how fast he was trying to get them out. “I thought you wanted to keep it a secret, because, well, why would you want someone like me? But I realise– you _do_ want me. This whole time, you’ve seen me as more than what I thought. That’s why you always stay the night, even the nights when all we do is cuddle, because it _wasn’t_ the sex you were staying for… was it?”

Tony stopped only when he hit that familiar blockade of self-doubt, but it was washed away by the look that Loki was giving him. Loki was staring at Tony something incredulous and _happy_ , with the kind of hope which suggested that he might still shatter with one wrong word– but it was still the kind of hope which meant he could see happiness in his reach, and he was going to risk the leap.

“Anthony, you’re so much more than you think you are,” Loki whispered. “It has always been a tragedy that you cannot see yourself as I do.”

That was all the confirmation that Tony needed. He pushed away from the wall, moving slowly just in case– but this time, Loki didn’t back away. He watched Tony with a dash of wonder, and when Tony lifted his hand to cup Loki’s cheek, Loki leaned into his touch with a sigh.

“All this time,” Tony whispered. “I thought you didn’t want anyone else to know. You have no idea how much I’ve wished that I could just hold your hand, or sit next to you, or kiss you and not have to worry whether other people could see. And you have no _idea_ how happy I am to learn that all this time… you’ve wanted the same.”

“ _Oh_ ,” Loki breathed. “I thought that you wanted to keep _me_ a secret, that I was an embarrassment.”

“Loki, you’re the best thing in my life,” Tony swore. “If I knew that you thought that way, I would have been shouting this from the rooftops for _months_.”

Loki’s laugh was delighted and bright, and when Tony slid his hands into Loki’s hair and tugged him down into a kiss, Loki responded with an eagerness that _proved_ just how happy he was.

It was the most perfect kiss that Tony had experienced to date, because this was them, this was _real–_ Loki wanted to _be_ with Tony just as much as Tony wanted to be with him, and there was nothing standing between them that could keep them apart. And when the kiss ended, they remained entirely entangled, arms wrapped around each other and their gazes locked, neither wanting to miss anything of the moment.

“Loki,” Tony said. “ _Lokes_. Will you date me? Really, properly, officially?”

“I would love to,” Loki replied, his eyes shining. “And while I don’t think shouting this from the rooftops is the thing to do, I will be happy for everyone to know that you… that we are together.”

Tony leaned forward to press his lips to Loki’s again, just for a moment. “That I am _yours_ ,” he corrected. “And that you’re mine.”

And when Loki’s answering smile lit up his whole expression, Tony knew that he had said the right thing.

He also knew that the others were probably curious by now. That he and Loki would be heading back soon, that they would sit together and– he doubted that they would _say_ anything, but they wouldn’t hide, either.

But for now, they had this new and familiar and _perfect_ thing to relearn– and, for now, just being with each other was all either of them wanted to do.


End file.
